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Big Families Can Be Happy

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Ted Turner created Captain Planet. He has five children. He advocates for sex selective abortion, population control and having one child.

Uh, no. You don't get to preach shit we can clearly see you not practicing. You can't keep it in your pants, you don't get to dictate what other people do with their lives. How can you advocate for having one kid because a big family is unmanagable when you're successfully juggling your career and five kids? You defeat your own thesis statement by existing. You are living proof your own theory is wrong.

And let's address the Captain Planet episode he spearheaded about overpopulation. Firstly, sex-selective abortion furthers the gender gap, allows misguided beliefs that girls aren't worth raising to continue and basically invites female abuse because it demotes them down to 'those things you try desperately to get rid of'. China has hundreds of thousands of girls in orphanages and in morgues because they greenlit this. Baby girls are thrown away. The orphanage is a sign your parents loved you enough not to just go to the river.

Secondly, the argument is that five kids is a load. Okay, point granted. But so is two. So is ONE. Tell a parent of two that they don't have problems and see how well it goes over. Bill Glass of Dads Are More Fun Podcast fame has two boys. They are Hell. Their personalities are different, potty training was an uphill battle and every day has challenges. That's not a big family, that's replacement value for yourself. This is life. Your kids will ask you for things, tug on your clothes and complain just like in that episode. That doesn't mean you get to force abortions on your wife or kill off the excess. It doesn't mean that people with big families are setting themselves up to fail. It means you should've thought of this earlier and you need to man up now.

Family is about authority and responsibility. Your kids have to be responsible for their bullshit and you need to own up to yours, but if you're willing to put effort into it you can manage it. You'll have to be firm, you will mess up, you'll have days where you want to rip out your hair, and then you'll have one of those moments they talk about on the podcast. A Moment Of The Week that makes it all worth it. That's called love.

When you take the love out of families and try to brainwash people into treating their children as numbers and not people, you have lost sight of one of the few joys of everyday life. What a sick thing for a cartoon to tout.

Third and finally, yes, I acknowledge the finances are hard for big families. But that's only if you're a Wheeler and you set no boundaries, giving into every request and desire regardless of what it is. If you set standards and say 'no', kids are not a death sentence. You could have no kids and screw over your finances acting like Wheeler in that episode. The kids aren't your problem, you need to learn to put the credit card away whenever a shiny object goes by. And if they think you'll buy them the moon it's probably because you have been doing that consistantly for a long period of time. These ideas don't fall into their heads. Don't blame your children for your finances falling apart when you have a new big screen, we can see through it.

Seriously, if Wheeler and Linka want a bundle of kids - go for it. You're superheroes. You can cover the finances. It's all about what the parents together agree they want. And if midway through number one you realize you can't possibly keep going and you settle for one kid, that's okay. Your plans are allowed to change, but this show doesn't even want you to have a choice in how many kids you have. Screw your rights, a man with five kids wants you to have only one, so let's kill off anything we don't like. Personal choices and parenting styles don't factor in. Let's just demonize big families as the enemy of progress.

I'm not advocating we all go out and have five. I'm just saying you have the right to whatever you want, and anyone who tries to run your life needs to be fought back against. It's your choice what you and your family do.

The power is yours.

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Children and ages, from green to black: Jelena Okeanya 11, George James 10, Natalie Catherine (hanging off Wheeler) 8, Marzanna Linka (in her father's arms) 7, and Aleksandro Pravi (trying to talk his dad into something, probably) 9. They, the mind blowingly tacky tree and the four armed snowman with the awesome hat are mine. Because I guess I thought a cute picture would make my angry ranting better.
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MasterOf4Elements's avatar
Linka wanted a house full of kids (something tells me Wheelers Christmas present is a positive pregnancy test) Wheeler just wanted to make them. That's not to say I don't think he'd make a good father. I think he would be the loving softy that can't bare to look into his children's eyes and say no you can't have a cookie before dinner.